News Archive

Tuesday, April 1, 2003 First Visitor from Mars Confirmed! Life on Earth? Not for long... Credit: Warner Brothers It has been confirmed: there is life on Mars! At exactly 4:36 PM Eastern Standard Time, the White House welcomed its first extra-terrestrial visitor since the Nixon administration. Marvin the Martian landed in the White House, stopping only briefly to shake hands with the President. Peter Arnett, the only reporter left in the United States, was given interview rights. Marvin seemed distracted throughout the interview, referring to a certain "Bugs Bunny" with whom he apparently had a bone to pick. The interview ended with a frightening threat to the security of the planet Earth. Marvin then began firing shots in the White House lobby, striking a tour guide in the leg. The man was last listed in serious condition. Marvin then launched off aboard his spacecraft. Most experts agree Marvin is now in orbit around the Moon. It is uncertain what he may do next, but I can assure you this will be a sleepless night for the billions who call the Earth home. @ 17:40 EST