News Archive

Friday, April 1, 2005 Olympic Committee Names Mars as Host of 2012 Games Mars 2012. Credit: Unknown In a shocking announcement made this morning, the International Olympic Committee has named Mars as the host of the 2012 Olympic Games. The announcement, both widely celebrated and criticized, makes Mars the first extraterrestrial planet to be selected for the prestigious event. Paris, which was long considered the most likely candidate for the Games, was ultimately eliminated because of concerns over transporation. Although the technology is still in development, traveling to Mars via spaceship is considered a much more convenient transporation solution than driving in France. "Clearly Mars offers greater room for expansion," Olympic chairman, Jacques Rogge, said. "Its traffic congestion is practically negligable and security is really a non-issue." Mars scored a perfect ten in all categories, including security, accommodation, and past experience. "We must remember that Mars has never hosted an Olympic Games before," Rogge pointed out. The newly formed Mars Olympic Committee is expected to begin development of a giant Olympic park complex, of unspecified size, including several stadiums. Commercial development is sure to follow, and historians have said that the local economy is sure to bloom. The specific site for the Olympic park is still in dispute, although a marathon event is planned to take place on the summit of Olympus Mons. Athletes will be transported to Mars several years before the Games in order to properly train in the low-gravity environment. Experts predict that world records in track and field events will be shattered, especially pole-vaulting and the long jump. @ 12:57 EST